Yuy's And Guns Part 1 Disclamer: I'm sure you have read many of these so I will get straight to the point. The characters are copyright to their respective owners and Ivy is my character. You can use her...I guess... Haruka and Milliardo slept soundly in their beds at 5:30a.m. To Heero, this was a crime, and they must be punished. Heero ran downstairs and grabbed the two now steaming kettles from the stove and walked back up stars. He dumped them on Haruka, then Milliardo. Haruka: HOLY SHIT!!! DAD!?! WHAT IN CHRIST'S NAME WAS THAT FOR!?! Milliardo: I'M SOAKED IN SCAULDING HOT TEA!!! Heero: You two have training to do... follow me. Haruka: *mimicking* You two have training to do follow me... Heero, Milliardo, and Haruka proceeded to walk outside. Then the twins had to run 26 times around the Peacecraft/Yuy/whaddeverthehellyouwannacallithouse. By the time they finished, they were late for school and Haruka was driving. 2.07 seconds later... Milliardo: Haruka. You shall never drive me to school again. Haruka: Good that means *I* don't have to put up wit the Blue-haired Bitch anymore. Milliardo: *glare* Haruka: You do that. *Walks over by Shingo* Hey, dude! Sup? Shingo: Nothin' much, man. Did ya hear that we got a new gym teacher? Some dude says she looks too young to be a teacher. Haruka: *Smiles Deviously* You know what that means. Right, Shingo? Shingo: We have a new teacher to scare first period? Haruka: Exactly! Let us go. Oh, yeah, and you might wanna look out, Ariel was in a very pissed mood. Shingo: Thanks for the warning. *Walks inside with Haruka* LATER THAT MORNING... Haruka: So what do think the teacher is gonna look like, Shingo? Shingo: Kinda short, wearing combat boots and dressed in pants that look ready to fall down her ass at any moment and a midriff-halter top that happens to be armieded. Haruka: Hey how did you * looks over* Oh. You're no fun anymore!! Teacher: Siddown! * everyone sits on the floor* Haruka: * raises hand* Teacher: What!? Haruka: How old are you? Teacher: If you would shut the hell up and listen to what I'm gonna say, then maybe you would know. Now then. You WILL call me MISS Vitez. If I hear a single crack-headed joke... You will be paying hell, and if you would like to find out what hell is, speak now or forever hold your peace. *eerie silence* Now, to answer your question, I'm twenty-one. Haruka: Then aren't you pretty young to be teaching us? Miss Vitez: *Walks over and grabs Haruka by the collar of his shirt* Would you like to test that theory on the football field? Or would you rather run fifty laps around the school? And yes, I can do that, it is in my power, and in your best interest to shut the friggin' hell up. *drops Haruka* Any questions. Shingo: What size bra are you. Miss Vitez: *smiles and walks over to Shingo* Shingo Winner, I presume? *Grabs Shingo by his ponytail* You just earned yourself fifty laps around the Sanq Kingdom High School. AFTER GYM CLASS... Shingo: That lady must not have gotten laid in quite some time. Haruka: She looks too damn young to be a teacher. Shingo: Are you suggesting that we, meaning me and you, follow her, meaning the teacher? Haruka: *sarcastically* No, I'm *Implying* that Santa and the Easter Bunny stopped working for Wonka in his chocolate factory. Of COURSE that's what I'm saying!!! Shingo: *stare* You just used a big word... Haruka: ... I did? Ah, well, uhh-Let's go to science now, Shingo... Shingo: We have a new teacher there too. Haruka: What is with All these new friggin' teachers?! Shingo: *shrugs* Dunno... IN SCIENCE... Teacher: Well then... I'm Miss Downing, if you can't remember that, than Miss D will be just dandy. I major in mechanics and automotive. I suck at being a teacher, and I'm sure you'll notice that too. Ask questions any time so long as they are not redundant, like my favorite, "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" I also have two hoboes' that hang around the perimeter of my house. Any other questions? Haruka: *Raises hand* Miss D: Yes? Haruka: How old are you? Miss D: thirty-five. Haruka: Are you lying? Miss D: Why would I bother? Haruka: I dunno... you tell me! Miss D: Are you done ranting? Haruka: I think so. Miss D: Good. Can I continue? Haruka: I guess. Miss D: Stupenderifiouse. Now, today, all of you should feel wonderfully special. We will take apart my car's break system and them attempt to put it back together. Clear? Shingo: Does this mean you trust us? Miss D: If that floats your boat... Shingo: Why? Miss D: You'll learn more than you did with that other ass-I mean-teacher... Shingo: Dude no! Miss D: Dude yeah!! Shingo: No... Miss D: Yeah... now, let's go outside! 42 Minutes later. Shingo: So that's how a break system works? Miss D: Yup! I learned that in eight grade an still remember it now! So how do you think I did? Haruka: Better than the other jackass that was here. Miss D: *bursts out laughing* I have a feeling you will get an A- if not an A+ in here you two. *starts writing passes* Yup! *hands them the passes* That is what I see! Now, feel free to wander aimlessly around the school for the next hour and a half you two! Shingo: DUDE!! Haruka: Thanks Miss D! Miss D: Dun mention it. Really dun't mention it! Haruka and Shingo begin to wander aimlessly to the girl's locker room. In doing this, they of course get sent down to the office for S.A.S. Principal: How do you explain yourselves this time? Haruka: Innocent until proven guilty? Principal: Very funny, Mr. Yuy. I suggest you cooperate or I will be forced to tell your father. Haruka: You always bitch to him anyway! Shingo: Yeah, even when you say you won't, you always do! Principal: *pissed* DETENTION!!!! Haruka and Shingo go to the detention hall and see that there is already another person occupying one of the seats. She is reading a magazine called "Top Ten Guns And The Reasons Why". She looks up from her magazine. Girl: I presume you two are the ones that went into the girl's locker room? Shingo: Yup! But what are you in here for? Girl: Kicking the crap out of Mr. Schutte. Haruka: You mean that old gym teacher? Girl: Let me finish! Haruka: *sweatdrop* Sorry! Girl: Throwing a smoke bomb in the boy's bathroom, putting grasshoppers in the mystery meat concoction, Shooting out the light bulb right above you, going on a cuss-fest, hitting Mr. Goldecus over the head with a desk and three chairs, and pelting a few students glass shards from when I broke the vials and flasks. Haruka: Dude! Your even worse than we are! Shingo: Yeah! Oh! By the way, da name's Shingo. That over there is my buddy Haruka. We're partners in crime! Girl: Name's Ivy. Ivy Vitez. Haruka: Are you related in any way to- Ivy: The gym teacher? She's my mom. Shingo: So the bitch is your mom? *thwap* OWIE!!! What was that for? Ivy: You never call someone's parent a bitch to their face!!! Baka Yaro!!! Haruka: Hey! My brother says that to me all the time!!! It means, like, jackass or something... Shingo: But I'm no jackass. I'm a pimp. Haruka: You can't even hold onto Ariel... what makes you a pimp? Shingo: The fact that I am so sly. *mumbles something to Haruka* Haruka: Do you Really think so? Shingo: What grade are you in? Ivy: Sophomore. Why? Shingo: So you'd be two years younger than us? Ivy: *sarcastically* Sure!! Why the hell not!! Shingo: Do you know anyone named Triage Barton? Ivy: Maybe. What's it to you? Haruka: He's, like, our best bud. Ivy: I think I know who your talking about... Is he kinda like you? Haruka: Yes. Ivy: Okay that's him. Yes I know who your talking about now. He's the dude that's always hitting on the preps. Shingo: Sure... I guess... The Door opens and Triage walks in. He sits in the chair next to Haruka. Triage: 'Ruka, Shingo. Haruka and Shingo: Sup? Ivy: Whadda you in here for? Triage: *perverted smile* Spying into the girl's bathroom! Ivy: Shoulda guessed... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ What will happen to our unfortunate detention friends? What will Heero say? Why doesn't Ivy have a conniption from our hentai squad?! Who is Ivy really!! Find out in Part 2!!!