Triage’s Gundam
By Erica Peters
Disclaimer: the only thing i own from this story is the Gundam EpyoCyclone Zero
NOTE: I changed my email and it is now Triage_Barton@yahoo.com
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One day, Triage was sitting there, bored, when an ugly guy walks up to him.
Triage: *cringe*
Man: Hello, Mr. Barton
Triage: *to himself* Wow, he really doesn’t know me....he called me mister!
Man: My name is Dr. J.
Triage: *waves his hand in the guy’s face* HI!!!!!!!
Dr. J: *sweatdrop*
Triage: *grabs the sweatdrop and eats it* mm....Salty!
Dr. J: *stare*
Triage: so, what do you want, old man?
Dr. J: I hear you don’t have a gundam and that you’re jealous
Triage: and your point is?
Dr. J: my point is......that i.....
At that exact moment, Duo pops up!
Duo: Hi, Triage! Hi ugly guy i don’t know and don’t wanna know because your face scares me!
Dr. J: Im surrounded by idiots!!!! *mooshes Duo’s head into the ground*
Duo: *is unconscious*
Dr. J: Now, Triage, I have built a superior gundam. Better than Wing Zero or even Deathscythe!
Triage: Really? What’s it called?
Dr. J: EpyoCyclone Zero
A precognitive chill runs down Triage’s spine, but he decides to ignore it.
Triage: okay
Jade: So why do you have to go into space?
Triage: I’d rather not talk about it
Ariel: Are you feeling ignored? I mean so what if no one asked what you wanted for your birthday, and youre always last when people name all the hentais, and Nova has a gundam and you don’t and my god youre life sucks!
Triage: Well, you know what they say....If life gives you lemons, stab life in the face and run like hell.
Ariel: ......
Triage: Well, then you laugh about it with your friends.
Ariel: Okaaaay
Jade: I swear, if you come back married to a whore, I’ll-
Triage: Mom! That was a one time thing! And thats not why I’m going!
Jade: Okay, okay, you don’t have to yell!
Triage: Okay. Now will you let me get out of here?!
Jade: Fine. Go.
The young hentai started to leave, when he turned around and ran back towards his mother.
Jade: See i knew you wouldn’t leave without giving me a hug-
Triage: *grabs hentai magazines from the couch* I forgot these! Bye, mom!
In space Dr. J is speaking with a pretty redhead in a wheelchair...
Dr. J: Well, well, well, it seems our new friend is late, miss...what is your name again?
Girl: I can’t believe you don’t know me by now!
Dr. J: .....
Girl: Mariemaia Kushrenada
Dr. J: Ah, yes!
Mariemaia: So, we’re going to give this young man an experimental gundam equipped with an advanced version of the Zero system, right?
Dr. J: Correct. It is the Z3PT
Mariemaia: .....
Dr. J: Zero System 3 Prototype
Mariemaia: oh.
Then, a dark green haired boy enters the room.
Nova: So that’s why my brother left without even giving our mom a hug?
Dr. J: Yes I suppose so....
*Flashback*
On Triage’s last night on the earth sphere, Dr. J had taken him out for lunch.
Triage: I don’t wanna waste your money, sir..
Dr. J: Oh, nonsense. Its my pleasure.
Triage: Its just that this is my 15th soda. I have to go to the bathroom.
Dr. J: Over there. *watches Triage leave and then sprinkles a packet of black and orange powder into Triage’s pepsi....
Dr. J: That powder was a very powerful drug that makes people susceptible to suggestion
Nova: *points a gun at Dr. J* Omae o Korosu!
Mariemaia: Same to you! *hits the back of Nova’s head*
Nova: *Faints on the ground*
Dr. J: Thank you, Miss Mariemaia. Now have someone get rid of him before Triage gets here.
Mariemaia: Yes, sir
Dr. J: Oh, and uh.....get the EpyoCyclone ready
Triage starts walking around L1 immediately after he arrives on the colony. After around an hour, he finds his hotel and enters his room
Dr. J: Hello, Triage
Triage: Hi. Miss....
Mariemaia: Mariemaia Kushrenada
Triage: ...... *to himself* she can’t be.....
Dr. J: You’re probably wondering where you superior gundam is...... show him, Miss Mariemaia
At this time, Mariemaia whips out a giant case, opens it, takes out a tiny needle and uses it to press a barely visible button. Then, Triage notices that a pair of curtains fall to the ground and then about 15 other doors open. (Thats supposed to be funny, if you don’t get it)
Triage: My, god, its....beautiful
Dr. J: Yes, it had many of the same attributes as your brother’s gundam, the Silverlight.
Triage: Almost exactly....
Dr. J: This gundam, however, has no wings or tail, and carries a shield with razor sharp edges, a sword, and electricity powered cyclonic whip.
Triage: Wow.....
Dr. J: that is the most correct response to this magnificent object that one can have......would you like to try it?
Triage: of-of course!
Triage: Are you sure i wont harm any colonies or any people?
Mariemaia: Don’t worry. We’re miles away from any colony, and were using mobile dolls
Triage: okay. So i just have to destroy the MD, right?
Dr. J: correct
Triage: *feels another precognitive chill* .........okay
EpyoCyclone: State your password.
Triage: T003
Triage decides to try the retractable whip. As soon as he takes it out, it starts pulsing with electricity. It then flies out of the gundam’s hands and starts spinning like a tornado, taking off toward the MD, and destroys 5 of them before returning to the arm of the gundam.
Triage: wait.....this...is new.....OH SHIT! THIS IS THE FUCKING ZERO SYSTEM!!! *starts to panic* Wait a minute.....I...I can handle......this.....
He takes out the shield and throws it at two of the MD. They are cut in half and explode. The shield uses a sort boomerang effect and returns to the gundam. Two of the MD start to go behing Triage, when he takes out a sword and cuts them both in half. There is one left. Just as Triage is about to demolish it, Zero shows him something that makes him stop dead in his tracks.
Triage: ...N-nova?...Who did this to you?
Nova: *tied up inside one of the MD with duct tape on his mouth, muffled* Trej!! Hp muh!
Triage woke up next to Nova the next morning (not like that! GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF THE GUTTER!!!!) They were both untied, and in a cell.
Dr. J: Ah, yes. Mr. Barton and Mr. Barton. You know Triage, I had no idea you were so smart. I thought maybe you wouldn’t be able to handle my Z3PT, therefore being brainwashed into joining NOZ.
Triage: Never *spits in Dr. J’s face*
Nova: Wait...I thought you were a good guy...as far as psychopaths go. Didnt you raise Mr. Yuy?
Dr. J: from the time he was 8 till he was 16
Back on earth......
Milliardo: Duet, I swear, he called me, and let me listen to that conversation. Your cousin is going to be exposed to a very powerful form of the Zero system!
Duet: Yes, but you forget, Triage doesnt have a gundam....
Milliardo: No, not yet. For all we know, he could be a fully-fledged member of NOZ!
Duet: Then why don’t you get him?
Milliardo: He won’t listen to me!
Duet: and he would listen to me because?
Milliardo: BECAUSE HE’S AFRAID OF YOU!
Duet: fine! Ill go!
Triage: if we join NOZ, will you let us go home?
Nova: Triage! Youre not even supposed to think about things like that!
Dr. J: Hmmm.....
Mariemaia: it could be a trick....
Dr. J: you were raised on L3, right?
Nova and Triage: *nod*
Dr. J: well, if you try to escape, then i will either blow up the colony or carry out part of the origional Operation Meteor and drop L3X18999 on to earth
Nova: NO!!
Triage: What my brother means is, it doesn’t look like we have much of a choice....so, yes.
Duet headed over to Ariel’s house to tell the Barton family what had happened to Triage.....
Ariel: Triage....and the Zero System.....
Jade: let me call Nova...*dials Nova’s cell phone number*
Voice: Hello?
Jade: .....who is this?
Voice: does it matter?
Jade: Yes, it does matter! Put my son on the phone!!
Voice: Oh, you must be Nova’s mother!
Jade: Yes, now put one of my babies on the phone!
Voice: Oh, im sorry, hes decided to become a soldier under NOZ
Jade: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?
Voice: goodbye *hangs up*
Jade: Hello? HELLO?
Trowa: what did he say? Who was that?
Jade: He said that my babies have....become soldiers under NOZ
Ariel: WHAT?!
Jade: *starts to cry*
Duet: I just thought i might let you know before I went to get them.
Ariel: let me go with you
Duet: no. He might try to kill you.
Ariel: i don’t care.
Duet arrived in space with Ariel to find Silverlight and EpyoCyclone Zero fighting against a large number of mobile dolls.
Duet: Triage, wjhat the hell are you doing?
Triage: look, it was the only way they would let us live!
Nova: I had absolutely no say in this!
Duet: I believe that
Ariel: listen, you old man! You will let those two go now!
Dr. J: How about...no!
Ariel: *points a gun at Dr. J* LISTEN!! I HAVE PMS AND A GUNDAM! DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO ME?!?!?!?!
Dr. J: Um...no! Take them! Bye! The end!
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Okay, okay, so that’s probably not what Dr. J and Mariemaia are really doing, but i just felt like putting them in there! Also i think this was really stupid! Why would Dr. J be afraid of Ari-oh, nevermind, i see!
Duo: How come i’m in all of your stories?
Erica: Um......
Duo: You think im hot!!! but don’t you know i can’t pimp that many girls at once?
Erica: um....HARMONY DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Harmony: Right.....blame everything on me..... *walks away, dragging Duo*
A few seconds later.....
Duo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP GLOMPING ME!!!!!!!!!!!
To tell the truth, Quatre’s really my favorite ^__^