Neo Gundam Wing Side Story
Let's Make a Switch!
"Wufei Yuy"
Disclaimer: don't own gundam wing, or neo gundam wing
By Erica Peters and Harmony Pope, and help from Becki
Hutchings (WriterHutch7@aol.com)
***************

*Sunday*
Relena: Why the hell doesn't anyone like my idea?!
Wufei's late; I heard he tried to stay home. Duo was
yelling at Hilde to make it (Dorothy) stop
Milliardo: Stop what?
Relena: Being alive
Milliardo: Oh.
Heero: I can kill her for him!
Relena: You're still here?!
Heero: Um....... no!
Relena: GET OUT, FATTY!
Heero: *sweatdrop* Okay..... but I AM NOT FAT!!
Relena: Where's Haruka?
Milliardo: Sleeping
Relena: Oh.

Outside.......
Wufei: *rings the doorbell and hears birds chime
instead of the traditional "ding-dong"* Weak doorbell!
Relena: *inside* Wufei must be here! *answers the
door*
Wufei: Hello onna....*sees Milliardo* weakling.
*receives death glares*
Milliardo: *points gun at Wufei* Omae o Korosu!
Relena: Milliardo, where did you get that?
Milliardo: Dad.
Relena: Figures....I'm gonna go make breakfast!
Wufei and Milliardo: NO!!
Wufei: Let me make breakfast!
Relena: It worked!

Ten minutes later they are all eating cereal (Heero's
Coco Puffs if you're wondering)
Milliardo: Wow! I got to eat without having a gun
shoved in my face or having to rushed to the emergency
room!

Right about then, 'Ruka walks down the stairs
Haruka: And you didn't call me?! HOW DARE YOU!

Relena starts to feed Rena
Wufei: Ack! What are you doing?!
Relena: I'm feeding my baby
Wufei: My onna always used a bottle!
Relena: well you just ignored this!  I can see why,
you're always sleeping on the couch!
Wufei: well, not here, I'm not!
Relena: Fine! Milliardo, show him to his room!
Milliardo: Okay! *takes Wufei to the smallest guest
room in the house (there's about ten)*

Five minutes later, Millie-chan is giving Wufei a
tour...
Milliardo: And it has a bathroom!
Wufei: Bakayaro! It is a bathroom!
Milliardo: exactly!

*Monday*
Relena: Wufei!!!
Wufei: Yeah, onna?
Relena: I'm going to the store! Watch Rena and Haruka!
Most importantly Haruka!
Wufei: fine....... *to himself* K'so...
Rena: *starts to cry*
Haruka: She needs a diaper change!
Wufei: You do it! *walks off to read a sports
magazine* The Sharks lost again! Weaklings!
Haruka: *grumble*

half an hour later a diaper hits Wufei in the of the
head
Haruka: There you go!
Wufei: *faints*
Haruka: *fixes Wufei* Good 'Oofie! *pets Wufei on the
head where there's no Crisco........wait, that part
doesn't exist*
Haruka: *looks at his hand* Eeeeeeeeeeew *wipes it on
his shirt* Eeeeeeeeeeew *puts his shirt in the washer*
Fangirls: *pop up out of nowhere* We love you, Haruka
youre so hot!
Haruka: I know!
Washer: Eeeeeew, Crisco! *spits the shirt at 'Ruka*
Haruka: Wow, I'm really high!
Wufei: Have you been smoking in my house?
Haruka: It's not your house 'Oofie! It's my house!
Wufei: Injustice!
Haruka: So what! No one cares about injustice!
Wufei: Ah! Injus--I mean....*runs away*
Haruka: Hehehehe.....

Wufei runs into the backyard......
Milliardo: I love you, Duet-sama
Duet: I love you, too, Millie-chan!
Wufei: WEAKLING!!!!!!!!!!!! That's not how you treat
onnakos!
Milliardo: And how far have you gotten with the way
you treat women?

*Flashback*
Kyoko: *smacks Wufei*

Chinatsu: *beats up Wufei*

Sumi: *kicks Wufei in a very sensitive spot*

Macha: *bruises up Wufei's face*

Sally: You will sleep on the couch tonight!!!
*Back in the present time*

Wufei: And your point is?
Mill and Duet: *sweatdrop* we saw the flashback!
Wufei: oh

Haruka walks out
Haruka: It's 'Oofie!
Wufei: AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!
Haruka: HeheheheHahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Ten minutes later, Relena comes home to find Wufei
huddled in a corner being poked with a stick by
Haruka!
Relena: What are you doing?!?!
Haruka: Poking 'Oofie!
Relena: I can see that! I mean WHY?
Haruka: Cuz he's there!
Relena: Would you go into space miles away from Earth
or the colonies with no air supply just because it's
there?
Haruka: *nods*
Relena: Oi....I need a drink *goes to the liquor
cabinet and takes out a bottle of gins and a
shotglass.  She fills the shotglass and starts
drinking strait from the bottle

*Tuesday*
Relena: *still drinking stuff....* Hiccup! I think I
like drinking now....
Wufei: Onna! What are you doing?
Relena; *hiccup* Drinking...What's it look like?

Haruka picks up his ninendo controller and....
Haruka: BUTTONS, BUTTONS!
Wufei: Nani?!
Haruka: *with a scary HY death glare* I'm Playing
Nintendo you bakayaro, so leave me alone you idiot or
I will mess up and die.
Wufei: That's not how you do it. *snatches controller
and starrts playing grand theft auto 13 and beats
Haruka*
Haruka: Whoa...For an old guy your pretty good at it.
How do you do it?
Wufei: I just pretend that the controller is the
control panel on my gundam.
Haruka: Wow too bad i don't know anything about my
gundam.
Wufei: Yeah well. Your too weak to know anything about
your gundam.
Haruka: Cuz' it'll fal apart ifI kick it too hard>
*pulls it out from magic space pocket* Oversized piece
of shizzy trashcan.. *kicks it*
OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Wufei: Hehehe.... weakling
Haruka: Im not weak I could win a gundam battle
against anyone, anywhere, anyplace, anytime.
Wufei: No you can't. Ever.
Haruka: So? At least I wasn't a traitor.
Wufei: Well at least Im not stupid.
Haruka: SO!? I'm stoned. And that's better.
Wufei: That's it. Get into your gundam.
Haruka: I thought you were gonna say go to your room.
Wufei: Go to your room after the battle. *leaves*
Haruka: Whatever. *leaves too*

Battle Near A Different BattleZone

Haaruka: *loading up his computer* Godamn thingy..
HURRY IT UP A LITTLE!
Gundam: Enter Your password.
Haruka: H001. Keyboard!*glomps keyboard and it shuts
off.* Merrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... *restarts it*
Wait....What am I doing again? Oh yeah. I gotta beat
the old guy.
Computer Screen: You must reinstall this list of
stuff:

Weaponry: Sword, Double Buster Rifle.
Defense: Boosters, Shield Protective Boundary.
Programs: AOL Windows Word Solitare Hearts Escape from
Horrorland......

Haruka: WHAT?! No way.......I ain't doing that
today....Well some. *whips out Heero's laptop and
begins typing furiously* Gotta add some of those.....
*drools*... Ahem! *loads most of that stuf in there*
Now anyway. *opens the door to the Gundam Hanger* It's
very bright out.. *puts his hentai squad sunglasses
on* There! All better. *takes off*

Meanwhile.........

Wufei: *in space already* Where's that weakling.......

*Wednesday*
Wufei: *lands back on earth(He got bored waiting for
Haruka)*Where are you? You weakling!
Haruka; Shaddup! I'm trying to sleep!
Wufei: *looks at Wing* What?
Haruka: *talking on the intercom thing* I said shut
up! I'm trying to sleep you weak onnako!
Wufei: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!
Haruka: *giggles* I called you a weak girl! Whaddabout
it?
Wufei: Errrrrrrrrrrrrr! *makes the dragonarm thing
shoot fire from its mouth at Wing* Rawr!!!!
Haruka: *watches as the fire bounces off and turn into
the tiny little wave things* Pretty..... *realizes he
should move and does* Oh shiz! I almost got mauled....
Wufei: GRR...(*Chibi Ruka pops up* ARGH! *goes away*)
Haruka: *aims the beam canon at "Woofie" (as one of
our so-called- "friends" calls him)*

Nataku gets blown up but Wufei escapes.
Wufei: *on earth*
NAAAAATAAAAAAAKUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU WEAKLING
GUNDAM!
Haruka: haha

Wufei sleeps all day and so does haruka
Relena: *walks through the door and find gundanium
scattered everywhere* HARUKA ZECHS YUY GET YOUR ASS IN
HERE RIGHT NOW!!
Haruka: *rubs eyes* but mommy i dont wanna go to
school the girls wont stay away from me....oh wait
thts a good thing! IM GOING TO SCHOOL!
Relena: its the middle of July....and besides your in
trouble.
Haruka: why?
Wufei: onna you woke me up! INJUSTICE!!!
Relena: what is all this?
Wufei: HE BROKE NATAKU IN OUR BATTLE IN SPACE!
Relena: oh and all the pieces just happened to land IN
OUR KITCHEN?!?!?!?!
Wufei and Haruka: *nod*
Relena: rrrrrrrrrrrr..... ILL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!

*Thursday*
Haruka runs around the kitchen trying to use Wufei as
a human shield
Relena: *holding a miracle blade chopper (the one with
that cool looking ball on it!)* CLEAN UP THIS KITCHEN
RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!
Haruka: But mommy.....
Wufei: LET ME GO WEAKLING!!!!!!
Relena: STOP!!!!

Haruka and Wufei freeze in midair, while Relena goes
into Heero's "secret" liquor cabinet and pours herself
a glass of straight vodka
Relena: *hic* Haaaaaaruuuuukaaaaaa....
Wufei: give meee some liquor, head of the circle of
evil heroines!
Haruka: HEROIN?! I WANT SOME!!!! I mean....drugs are
for losers.....
Relena: get meeeee some......strawberry juice!
Haruka: *gets the juice and wayches relena pour it
into the vodka* can....CAN I HAVE SOME??
Relena: ok....just a liiiitle.....
Haruka: *drinks it all*

Milliardo walks in carrying ReRe-chan
Milliardo: hey, mom.....Haruka made me watch Rena
while he and Mr. Chang had a gundam battle....and i
was almost finished with my Lum*Urusei Yatsura book!
Haruka: *now drunk*
.........*blink*..............um...........*blink*............whowhat?
Relena: oh, there waaaaas a battle.....MILLIARDO CLEAN
UP THE KITCHEN!!!!!!!!
Milliardo: I DIDN'T DO IT!!!!
Relena: Well, I'm drunk what do you expect?!
Milliardo: how the hell did you get drunk?
Relena: your fathers secret liquor cabinet!
Milliardo: you know about that?!
Relena: MILLIARDO!!! ITS IN THE FRIDGE!!! HOW AM I NOT
SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT IT?!?!?!?! *chucks the knife at
Milliardo, but it misses and hits Wufei in the leg*
Haruka: 'Oofie got hit!!!!!

*Friday*
Milliardo: *still cleaning the kitchen* so your back!
Hows Mr. Chang?
Wufei: im......
weeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*cries*
Haruka: of course you are, 'Oofie!
Wufei: *limps over to Haruka:
I'll.....kill......you!!! *jumps about two feet and
lands on the ground*
Haruka: HA! You really are weak! *starts dancing
around* "Oofie's weeeaak! 'Oofie's weeeaak!
Wufei: ....... *looks at Relena* kill me.....
Relena: *takes out the guns she confiscated from
milliardo on sunday*
Wufei: no no i mean.....*points at Haruka* KILL HIM!!!
Relena: but i dont wanna!

Later that day......
Rena: *starts crying* whaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Haruka: anyone wanna watch Yu-Gi-Oh!?
Relena: Haruka! Take care of Rena!
Haruka: *puppy dog eyes* but why?
Relena: cuz i said so!
Haruka: *looks at Wufei* But Wufei's closer!
Relena: Wufei, change Rena's diaper!
Wufei: injustice....

Half an hour later a diaper hit Haruka in the back of
the head.
Haruka: OMAE O KOROSU!

They start fighting
Relena: THATS IT!!!! IM GONNA CALL WHOEVER'S
RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS!!!
Milliardo: but, mom......that's you.'
Relena: oh....

********************
errrr....*grabs her head* gah!!!!
yeah, this is stupid...i dont even know why i do
this....
also, i have a new site:
http://www.Triage.homestead.com/7th_Circle_Of_Hell.html