Neo Gundam Wing Side Story
"Let's Make a Switch!"
Chang Quatre
Disclaimer: WE DON"T OWN ANYTHING!
By Erica Peters and Harmony Pope
(AngelSpike144@yahoo.com & RukaKitty@yahoo.com)
***************************

*Sunday*
Quatre walked up to Wufei's front door and knocked.

Wufei: What do you want, weakling?
Quatre: Don't you remember? Relena wanted us to
switch? You signed a contract! *slowly getting pissed*
Go to Heero's!
Wufei: All right! Just let me pack!
Sally: *slides bags toward Wufei* There you go!
Wufei: *mumbles something about injustice*
Sally: So, now that he's gone, you wanna do me a
favor?
Quatre: ...... *imagines stuff that's really bad* Okay
Sally: *hands him a wrench* I've been trying to get
Wufei to fix the sink for a while, but he thinks it's
a job for weaklings. And since your obviously a
weakling, you can do it!
Quatre: *slightly relieved* sure! *realizes what Sally
just said* Heeeeeeeeey............

Meiran walks up
Meiran: *to Quatre* Are you my daddy?
Quatre: Well, I guess I am, for a week.
Meiran: Your wearing pink! Are you a homo?
Quatre: No! Why does every one think I'm fruity!
Duo: *pops up out of nowhere* The proper term is "gay"
*leaves*
Meiran: MOM?!?!?!
Sally: Yes, Meiran?
Meiran: If Daddy's a homo, then will I be a homo, too?
Sally: *sweatdrop* No
Meiran: Is Zodiac a homo?
Sally: I don't know

Kasuka and Yowamushi walk up
Yowamushi: Mr. Winner's a homo?
Kasuka: *smacks Yowamushi* You mean you didn't already
know that?!
Quatre: Injustice!

It gets quiet.  Everyone stares.
Quatre: This house is getting to me. I'm gonna fix the
sink!
Sally: *to the kids* that was quicker than I thought!
Here you go! *gives them each $50*

*Monday, 4:00 A.M.*
Sally: Are you still at this?
Quatre: I'm going to fix this sink if it kills me!
Sally: did you forget to take your Prozac again?
Quatre: You'd know if that happened.
Sally: Whatever. I'm going back to bed.

Three hours later . . .
Quatre: *hits head* Ow! *turns on water* It works! It
works! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 I'm the best!!!
Sally: Don't you think your going overboard?
Quatre: *stops* Maybe *takes his Prozac*
Sally: Those are sugar pills
Quatre: Oh, my god, I lost my Prozac!!! *goes berserk*
Sally: *grabs the kids and drives away*
.Ling: Wait!!!!!! you forgot me!!!!!!!!!
Mommy!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quatre: Oh, look, a little one *backs Ling into a
corner*
Ling: Don't eat me!!!!!!!! *finds bottle of what he
thinks is suicide pills and takes them all*
Quatre: That was my Prozac!
Ling: Oh, shit! *starts acting like Quatre* Grrrrrrrr!
Injustice!

The rest of the family is driving down the road ten
miles away from home.
Kin: Mom, you forgot Ling!
Sally: Shit! *starts to turn around*
Gin: No, mom. He's probably gotten him by now
Torrance: This is strange..  I'm worried, but I also
want to break out laughing.

Sally pulls into a Motel 6
Yowamushi: C'mon! This whole thing is basically Mrs.
Yuy's, or Mrs. Winner's fault . Let's get money from
them and stay somewhere with a pool!
Kasuka: And a Playstation!
Kin and Gin: And Cable, so we can watch Sailor Moon!
Meiran: And a phone so I can call Zodiac!
Torance: And a computer!  I'll want to email
Nova-sama!

Sally decided to borrow $13,000 from Dorothy, and they
all stayed at the Hilton hotel.
Yowamushi: *walking in from the pool* this is great!
Sally: *in hot tub* yeah . . . .

*Tuesday*
Inside the Chang residence are Ling, Quatre, and some
"entertainers"
Hooker: Don't hurt me!
Hooker 2: Me, either!
Hookers 3 through 25: Yeah!

The phone rings
Ling: *picks it up* Hell-o!
Sally: Ling! I'm so sorry I forgot you!
Ling: *moves over to hide the life-sized figure that
looks like Sally being burnt* it's okay!
Sally: Why are you covered in tribal paint?
Ling: *points at Quatre, who is wearing nothing but
the fingerpaint Ling is covered with* he did it

Quatre jumps onto the table and starts to eat the
phone

Torrance: How are things going?
Sally: Just fine!
Torrance: Would you like some? *points to the
crumpets, scones, and tea on the table*
Sally: Sure. Do you have any strawberry scones?

Meiran, still interested in Sunday's homo talk was
talking to Akuma on the phone, when suddenly, she
started crying
Sally: What's wrong?
Meiran: I asked Zodiac if he was a homo and he hung
up!
Sally: *face fault*

*Wednesday*
Back at the house, Ling found more of Quatre's Prozac,
took it, and decided he liked
Quatre's outfit. Now there's a naked ugly Chinese kid
and a sexy naked Arabian guy
Hooker 15: Help!!!  This guy just ate three other
whores!!!!
Ling: No one can hear you! Shut the fuck up!
All at once:
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAASE!
Quatre: *starts munching on number 12 (yes he put
number tags on them)*
Ling: I'm going to sacrifice number 25! *throws her
onto the giant burning Sally*
Quatre: Grrrrrrr.....

Sally: Meiran honey, can you get off the phone? I have
to call Mrs. Yuy
Meiran: Okay, 'Kaa-san! Bye, Zodiac!
Sally: Hello Relena? This has got to stop!
Relena: are you in a hotel?
Sally: don't bother trying to call my house. Quatre
Ate the phone!
Relena: no he didn't!
Sally: Yes he did!
Relena: Dorothy called a while ago, she said Duo and
Shingo were beating each other up . . .
Sally: *starts laughing*

Ling had gone out to buy some jungle plants, while
Quatre was at home. The doorbell rang
Quatre: *opens it* Grrrr.
Policeman: *holding Ling, who is still naked* Is this
your son?
Quatre: Grrrrrrr. *grabs policeman, eats his radio,
and lines him up with the hookers, half of which were
eaten or sacrificed*

Sally: Yowamushi!
Yowamushi: Yeah, mom?
Sally: Where's the pool? I've been up here the whole
time!
Yowamushi: I'll show you!
Sally: *to herself* Quatre ate the phone . . . what's
next? Hookers? Policemen? Nah. Why would he do that?
Yowamushi: Are we gonna get Ling?
Sally: Ling! Everyone! Get you crap! We're going home

They checked out and had a bill of $10,000
Kin: Mom! You made us turn off Oh My Goddess! The
movie!
Gin: I thought that was Sailor Moon!
Kin: You baka!
They fight
Sally: Shut up!!!!!!

*Thursday*
It gets silent as they approach the house. Sally
cautiously exits the car and motions for the others to
follow. They get to the door.
Sally: *opens the door slowly* It's safe
Quatre: Grrrrrr!!!
Everyone: *screams*
Ling: *walks up*
Everyone: Eeeeeeeeeeeew!!!!! [1]
Ling: Grr!!!
Sally: Get some clothes on!
Ling: But I was having fun
Meiran: Mommy, whats that? *points in that area*
Ling: Oh, shit!! *covers himself up*

One hour later
Meiran: You still haven't answered my question
Kin: That's probably the least of our problems now . .
. *points to Quatre*
Quatre: Grrrrr!!!
Yowamushi: Let's call animal control! ^__^
Sally: you know, that doesn't sound too bad right now

A while later, Animal Control arrives . . .
Man: Are you sure we should take him?
All: Yes!
Man #2: Okay, okay

Yowamushi: Is this Mr. Winner's Prozac?
Sally: oops . . .
Ling: Maybe we should get him
Sally: Maybe you should get some clothes on!
Ling: *gets clothes on*

They decide to go down to Animal Control
Sally: He's supposed to take two pills at 9:00 A.M.
and 4:00 P.M.  But for this case, I'd give him about
four right now. I'll come and get him tomorrow
Man: *with arm in a sling* Prozac?
Sally: *points to his arm* thats not from him is it?
Man: Yeah . . .

*Friday*
That day everyone slept in until 1:00 P.M.
Sally: Hey! Ling, Get that paint off of you! Everyone
else, get ready!

Ten minutes later . . .
Kin: Mom! Ling didn't wash himself off!
Ling: It won't come off!
Sally: Just get in the damn car!

When they arrive . . .
Sally: Dorothy?!

--------------------By Erica and Harmony
Quatre: *wearing a loincloth now* how come everyone
woke up so late?
Harmony: Hey, the Prozac's working!
Erica: Harmony had a writer's block!!

Will Ling ever get the fingerpaint off? Who really
gives a shit?
[1] Ling was still naked
Harmony: That's VERY disturbing.........