The Family Camping Trip from Hell: Part 2.
By: Mistress Maxwell
E-Mail: mistress_maxwell@hotmail.com
A few days later, everyone is trying to get ready for the trip..................
Quatre: (dressed up like a hunter) Ok. I'm ready to take on the vicious animals of the forest!
Shingo: *sarcastically* Yeah, the menacing chipmunks..........
Dorothy: And the ferocious gophers. (walks up behind Quatre) GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
Quatre: ..................*sweatdrop*
Trowa: Come on Quatre. It's not like where going to have to defend ourselves against, oh, say, a mountain lion!
Milliardo: Un-true Mr. Barton. This particular region where we will be camping in is teaming with cougars, bears, and wolves.
Duo: *sarcastically* Oh Goody! We get to be chew toys for over grown cats! Did anybody bring any catnip?!
Duet: Sorry dad, but your wrong. More often then not, a wild animal will run if it hears you.
Duo: Ok my Shi no Tenshi. Fair enough. Tell me that when I'm having my arm chewed of from the elbow down by a rabid wolf!
Duet: .......................
Meiran: 'Tou'san, will you show me some wild animals while were there?
Wufei: Are you crazy onnako?!?!?!?! I'm not gonna put my life on the line just so you can look at some weak fluff balls!!!!!!!!!!
Meiran: .................*lip trembling* WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wufei: *puts his fingers in his ears to block out the wailing of Meiran and the yelling from Sally* La la la, I'm not listening, La la la!
Ling: *under his breath* Oh, what the hell? (picks her up and puts her on his lap) Don't worry Meiran. If father won't take you than I will *under his breath again* If only to shut you up!
Duo: Besides. Your father's loud mouth would scare of anybody with the senses of hearing touch.
Hilde: How do you figure touch?
Duo: Have you ever heard him yell, or worse yet rant?! He makes the earth tremble when he does it!!!
Wufei: (shoves Duo's head into the ground) Maxwell, I will not put up with your stupidity for the next few days! Just shut that over sized hole in your head you call a mouth and you won't get hurt. Even so, I won't make any promises.
Duo: ........*thumbs up sign*.............
3 hours later...............
Heero: Where the hell are we?
Haruka: (looks around) I can't put my finger on it 'Tou'san, but my guess would be the middle of nowhere.
Relena: None sense Haruka. Were at least a half a mile away from the next camp.
Phoenix: Gee, the makes me feel SO much better. Yeesh!
Relena: (claps her hands together) Ok everyone. Now, I think we should set a few rules for the next few days...........
Kasuka: Kami-sama! Were getting rules now?!?!?!?!?!
Relena: Rule #1: All weapons will be surrendered at this time.
All: ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Relena: I said now!
Almost everyone drops a weapon in front of Relena.
Relena: (while counting the many guns and knives) Heero, give 'em up.
Heero: Give what up?
Relena: The guns your hiding.
Heero: *innocently* What guns?
Relena: While spending 17 years as your faithful wife, I have retained the knowledge of where you hide your precious pistols, so hand 'em over.
Heero: *under his breath* Damn nosy wife. Alright. (reaches down the front of his shirt) Here.
Relena: And the other one.
Heero: *smiles coyly <for a change!>* Hey, you've had that one for 17 years! <It's frightening, I know!>
Relena: *blush* Give.
Heero:.......................( hands her the other gun)
Relena: Thank you, dear.
Haruka: (looks at Milliardo and turns green) Oh man, I think I'm gonna be sick!
Milliardo: You're not the only one 'Ruka!
Duo: Your dad's analogies are enough to make anybody sick, boys.
Triage walks over to a folding chair and starts to rummage through a duffel bag.
Jade: Triage, sweety. What are you looking for?
Triage: *sweatdrop*...............Uh, nothing mom.
Nova: (walks up to Triage) No, really. What are you looking for?
Triage: (still looking) The only thing that'll keep me happy in this God-forsaken forest! (Pulls out a Hentai magazine)
The radars go off in Shingo and Haruka's heads.
Shingo & Haruka: HENTAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shingo: (runs over) Alright, the new issue!
Haruka: I've been waiting to see this one for a long time now!
Triage: Hey, le' go!
*RIIIIIIIIIP* All three boys are left holding a piece of their beloved XXX magazine in their hands.
Triage: Aw man! Look what you guys did!
Shingo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Haruka: You killed it!!!! (starts sobbing)
Triage: You ripped Miss April!
Shingo: And what does that make you? The April Fool?
The 3 boys retreat to their separate tents.
All:.................
Dorothy: Oh, I almost forgot. Shingo!
Shingo: Wha'?
Dorothy: You'll be sharing your tent with Akuma.
Shingo: HELL NO!!!
Dorothy: Wanna bet? Don't toy with me boy!
Shingo: (pokes his head out of his tent) Look mom. You can torture me any other way that you want, just puh-lease don't put with Akuma!!!!!!
Dorothy: I'm sorry Shingo, but you know how scared Akuma gets when he's not with his parents. He's so close to you, so I though it would be alright if I leave him with you.
Shingo: *blink, blink* Why can't I just die?!?!?!?!?!
Akuma: Yay, Shingo-san! Were tent buddies! (glomps Shingo)
Shingo: Oh, go jump in the pond!
Akuma *confused face*..............*big grin* Ok!
Akuma lets go of Shingo and runs out into the pond.
Quatre: Uh, Dorothy. Didn't you tell me before we left that Akuma can't swim yet?
Dorothy: Yes dear..............WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Dorothy looks over to see Akuma floating on top of the water, face down.
Dorothy: JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The men spring into action. Milliardo, Haruka, Heero, Duo, Phoenix, Quatre, Shingo, Trowa, Nova, Triage, Ling and Zechs practically climb over each other, trying to get to the pond. <you ask why Wufei and Sieben aren't helping? Come on, let's face it......their assholes!> Milliardo reaches the boy first and carries him out of the water.
Haruka: Uh, Mill. What's that on the back of your neck?
Milliardo: Do you think I'm stupid 'Ruka? I'm not gonna fall for that tired old gag!
Duet: No Mill-chan. There really is something on your neck. (looks around) Actually, there are little black things hanging off of all of you guys.
Milliardo:..............?
Milliardo reaches behind his head and pulls off the thing. When he looks at it, it's trying to attach itself to another part of his body to suck his blood.
All: LEECHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The men start frantically trying to pull off the offending parasites.
Heero: *rips one off* You little son of a bitch! (Throws it to the ground steps on it)
Once all the leeches had been removed and "properly" dealt with, the commotion died down........ until Haruka got a look of mixed pain and fear on his face. He looked down.
Haruka: *trembling* ..................Oh, shit man! Oh, fuckin' shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With the stunned eyes of everyone looking at him, Haruka reaches down the front of his shorts <Hey people, get your heads out of the gutter!!!> and retrieves a leech, filled with blood from his *ahem*. He brings it up to his eye level and as he watched it, he saw it attach itself to his index finger and start to feed again.
Haruka: *gulp* ............UHHHhhhhhhh *passes out*