Neo Gundam Wing
Episode 1: What happened to the Gundam Pilots?
Disclaimer: I do not own GW or else I there wouldn't be only 49 episodes plus EW...
At least a year after Endless Waltz, Heero finally realized he loved Relena and actually told her. A month later, Heero proposed to Relena. At the same time, Duo proposed to Hilde, so it would be like a double wedding (he just didn't want to pay for the wedding damnit!)... Another two months passed, and Quatre married Dorothy (yeah I know, Dorothy...of all people...). Many moons after, Wufei decided to, as he put it, "marry that weak onna," which would be Sally (it was either a) a blue moon, b) he was drunk, c) all of the above, or d) something else). Eventually, we have Trowa who marries a girl named Jade Maxwell (Duo's older sister [A character from a very good friend of mine's fic!]). Zechs had married Noin after the Mariemaia incident.
Of course, our happily married Gundam Wing couples had children. Heero and Relena have twin boys which were named Milliardo, after Relena's brother, and Haruka, because Heero happened to like the name. (Remember when he was high off of the 'hospital stuff' in GWS? One day, he watched Japanese Sailormoon... X.x) Duo and Hilde had a daughter (a *very* intelligent one), which Duo named Duet. (Duo: She's going to be my Shi no Tenshi! [Angel of Death!]) Quatre and Dorothy had a son named Shingo (I'm not going to add the rest of his name!). Wufei and "his weak onna" have five kids, the oldest one being a boy named Ling. As for Trowa and Jade, they had a girl named...Ariel, Jade died in a battle two years later after Ariel was born. Zechs and Noin had a son named Sieben, who is two years older than the other kids.
Six years later (Yes, this would make the Neo Gundam Pilots six years old, and in the case of Sieben, eight...), we see the Peacecraft/Yuy mansion (whatever you want to call the darn house...). We hear the birds tweet and a gentle breeze blow by, besides the constant typing coming from inside of the house. In a matter of moments, the beautiful, peaceful day is turned upside down by two blonde headed boys...
Milliardo: It's my ball! Go get your OWN!
Haruka: NO! It's MY ball and I had it first!
Milliardo: YOU DID NOT!!!
Haruka: Did too!
Milliardo: Did not!
Haruka: Did too!
Milliardo: Did not!
Relena: Stop fighting, you two!
Haruka: But 'Kaa-san...we only have one ball...
Relena: Yes, I know, honey...*out loud so Heero could hear her* BECAUSE YOUR FATHER IS A CHEAP BASTARD!
Heero: *gets up and walks over to Relena* I am not a cheap bastard...I thought they could share one ball so *I* didn't have to buy another...
Relena: Heero...we...are...RICH! R...I...C...H! RICH! I was adopted by the former Vice Foreign Minister, AND I'm a member of the Peacecraft family! How in the world could you POSSIBLY think we're poor or broke?!?
Heero: Um...I know how to spell...
Haruka: I know how to spell, TOO! C...H...E...E...P...B...A...S...T...A...R...D! That spells...CHEAP BASTARD! YAY!
Relena: Go up to your room and wash you mouth out with soap!
Haruka: Uh...what type of soap?
Milliardo: Bar soap...
Haruka: I wasn't asking you! Nerd Boy! *starts dancing around* Nerd Boy! Nerd Boy!
Milliardo: I am not a nerd!
Haruka: Ok then, Incredibly Smart Boy!
Milliardo: Uh...I'll take that as a complement...
Haruka: *scratches back of head* Uh...what's a complement, Incredibly Smart Boy?
Heero and Milliardo hit their heads against a nearby wall...
Relena: Heero...which one did we drop?
Relena: Oh yeah...
Heero: You know, Relena, I think that it's that time and I should--
Relena: Don't you even finish that sentence, Heero Yuy!
Heero: I should start training them...
Relena: *covering the kids ears...* Heero, I said no when they were born and even before that.
Heero: But Relena!
Relena: *to the kids* Go up to your rooms...I have to talk to your father...
Both boys: Ok! *run up the stairs*
Heero: Relena...did you even think that this...Ughh...peace would ever end?
Relena: Isn't that what the Preventers are for? Aren't you one?
Heero: ...Yes, but one day I'm going to be too old for this 'fighting stuff', as you so eloquently put it...
Relena: The answer is STILL no, Heero!
Heero: ...I love you, Relena...
Relena: That's NOT going to work this time!
Upstairs, the children were hearing every word exchanged by their parents...
Haruka: Onii-chan, what are 'Kaa-san
and 'Tou-san fighting about?
Milliardo: Baka! They aren't fighting!
Haruka: Baka! What do you call what they're doing downstairs then?
Milliardo: A difference of opinion...
Haruka: That's called a fight, onii-chan! You've been around Freak Girl too much! (AN: 'Freak Girl' is their name for Duet, who happens to be in their first grade class...)
Back downstairs, the 'odd couple' was still having a 'disagreement'...
Heero: *puppy-dog look*
Relena: *sighs* You and that damn look...eight years ago I never would have thought of you looking like that... *looks at him and gives up* Ok, Heero, you can train them...
Heero: *loses the puppy-dog look and wears his normal emotionless mask* Hmph...it was only a matter of time until you finally gave in, Relena...
Relena: Whatever...get out of here before I change my mind!
Heero: Ok...Hey kids! Get your butts down here!
Haruka: *from upstairs* Are you going to take us to the park? *sound of a hand making contact with his head can be heard* Ouch!
Heero: *to Relena* You're positive Milliardo was the one we dropped?
Both kids run downstairs dressed in red tank tops and black NON-SPANDEX shorts. They stand together and give their parents the kawaii version of the Heero Yuy Death Glare.
Relena: Yep, they are most
definitely your sons, Heero.
Heero: No, they look too much like you with the blonde hair. Plus, I'm not completely sure that Haruka is my son...
Haruka: Of course I'm your son, 'Tou-san! *whips out a water gun* Omae o korosu!
Relena: I wonder where they learned THAT from...*glares at Heero*
Heero: What? I suppose it's genetic or something...
Relena: *sighs* Heero, I give up on you...
On the far off L2 colony in space, Duo and Hilde Maxwell are...engrossed in a wonderful conversation while their only daughter Duet sits off in a corner, reading "Moby Dick." (A few notes, 1) It's summer, that's why she's back on L2 Colony and 2) I told you, she's smart for a six year old...)
Duo: Hilde! I am NOT cutting
my braid! Haven't we talked about this before?
Hilde: Duo, your braid is nearly five feet long!
Duo: It's only four feet and seven inches long...
Hilde: *face faults* Duo! The point is, you need to cut your hair! Think about what it's doing to Duet!
Duo: What is it doing to her? *looks over at Duet* What is she reading?
Hilde: *glances over at Duet too* She's reading "Moby Dick," Duo...
Duo: "Mobile Dick"? What is a SIX YEAR OLD doing reading THAT for?
Hilde: I said "Moby Dick", not "Mobile Dick!"
Duo: Good god, I didn't read books nearly HALF as thick as that...THING...when I was her age! I was...
Hilde: You what?
Duo: Well, I was stealing stuff to live, and...hehe...I only knew how to read books like "The Cat in the Hat" and "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish", thanks to Solo.
Hilde: Oh boy...I thought Father Maxwell and Sister Helen made you go to school...
Duo: I got expelled for kicking some stupid kid's butt!
Duo: Hey! He said that I smelled dirty! AND he called me a girl!
Hilde: *holding Duo's braid* I can't imagine why...
Duet: *looking up from her book* Mom, Dad...could you please stop fighting?
Duo: Ok, my little Shi no Tenshi-chan! *looking back at Hilde* I can't believe she's so smart...*cries*
Hilde: *mutters* Too bad the same can't be said for the father. I suppose had he been raised properly, he would be just as smart as his little girl...
In Trowa's traveling circus, we see little Ariel walking across a tightrope. Trowa, who had just finished washing the lion, walked into the big top and nearly had a heart attack.
Trowa: Ariel! Get off of
there! You're gonna get yourself hurt!
Ariel: *looking at her father* Papa! I'm FINE!
Trowa: *getting angry* Get off, NOW!
Catherine: *snickers as she practices her knife-throwing* I never thought I would see the day the great Trowa Barton would be so overprotective of his daughter...
Trowa: I'm not overprotective! *looks back at Ariel, who is still walking across the tightrope* Hey! I told you to get down from there!
Catherine: *sighs* And to think, you were a Gundam pilot...a silent, emotionless one at that...
Trowa: Well...I'm not one anymore! I'm a father! *looks again, and sees Ariel STILL walking the tightrope* Ariel Michelle Barton! I told you to get down from there NOW!
Catherine: *sighs and shakes her head*
Ariel: Huh? *loses her balance and falls into the net below* Papa! See what you made me do!?
Trowa rushes over to his little girl to make sure she's ok...
Trowa: Ariel! You aren't hurt,
Ariel: Papa! I'm FINE!
Catherine: Trowa! She said she was fine! And besides, you know we always have the net under the tightrope just in case something goes wrong!
Trowa: What if the net breaks? What if my baby is killed?! What if...
Catherine: *punches Trowa in the face* Stop that! Do you think Jade would like it if she saw you ranting and raving about what could or couldn't happen to her daughter?
Trowa: Catherine! You and Ariel are the only family I have left now! I have to protect both of you!
Catherine: *sighs again* I can't believe this...
Ariel: Auntie, was Papa always like this?
Catherine: *at the same time as Trowa* No!
In a garage located near the Winner family's desert estate in Arabia, we see Quatre's latest Gundam, the Sandstorm. Inside the Gundam, Quatre was trying to teach his son, Shingo, how to operate the mobile suit...
Quatre: ...and here's how you turn
on the Gundam. Any questions? *sees Shingo with headphones on,
reading a Dragonball manga* Shingo, did you even hear me?
Shingo: *still reading the manga and listening to 'Blue Velvet'* Yeah, yeah! Wars are cool!
Quatre: ...That's not what I said! Give me that! *takes away the manga and the CD player*
Shingo: But Father! I was reading that!
Quatre: I know! That's why you don't even know HOW to turn on this thing!
Shingo: Father, you have everything labeled. *points to things as he reads the labels* Power switch, missiles, self-destruct button...whoa! You never said anything about a self-destruct button!
Quatre: *sweatdrops and rips off all the labels* Ok, Mr. Smarty Pants! Tell me which one is the power switch!
Shingo: Hmm...this one! *presses the self-destruct button*
Computer Voice: Self-destruct sequence activated. T-minus 10, 9, 8...
Quatre: AHHH! *searches frantically for the button to override the sequence...* Where is it?!?
Shingo: *presses another button* This one...
Computer Voice: 3, 2, --Self-Destruct sequence overridden. Have a nice day, Gundam Pilot 004...
Quatre: *sighs* Shingo, you're grounded!
Shingo: But, Father! Didn't I press the right button?
Quatre: Yes, but you nearly killed me AND destroyed the Gundam! *points to the cockpit door* OUT!
Shingo: Sheesh, Father...lighten up...*leaves*
Dorothy: *pops her head in* He did it again, didn't he? (BTW, she no longer has those cockroach eyebrows, and neither does Shingo...)
Wufei cautiously opens the door to his house in China's countryside, coming home after a long, hard day at work in the Chinese Preventer office. 'Good, the kids are busy watching some weakling show.' Wufei thought as he managed to slip inside the house. He was tiptoeing past the living room, where all five of his children were watching some show about a guy with messed up hair looking for seven spheres with different numbers of stars on them. (Dragonball, in case you didn't figure that out for whatever reason... :P) Wufei's foot steps on a skate, which makes him trip and fall on his rear. He turns to make sure the kids weren't distracted, and much to his surprise, ten little eyes were still glued to the TV. After letting out a sigh of relief, Wufei gets up and starts heading towards the kitchen when Dragonball went on a commercial break.
Wufei: *whispering when he sees ten eyes on him...* K'so...
Wufei is mobbed by his children, who are excited to see their father. Wufei screams and demands the 'weak children' to get off of him, but they ignore his pleas and stay glomped onto their father. Sally sticks her head out of the kitchen and watched poor Wufei try to practically beat their kids off of himself...
Wufei: Shimatta! Get off of
me, you weak children!
Ling: We love you, father!
Kin: (One of his twin girls) Yes, Father, and we missed you, too!
Gin: (the other twin) Father, pick me up!
Wufei: AHH! I would do that if your weakling brothers and your sister would GET OFF OF ME!
Sally: Obviously they aren't THAT weak if they're doing that to you, Wufei...
Wufei: *gets angry* Onna! Get over here and help me!
Sally: I can't, I'm busy cooking dinner for you...*goes back to work*
Wufei: Onna! Damn you! You truly are evil! INJUSTICE!
Then, Dragonball comes back on after the commercial break, and the children rush back to the couch. Wufei sighs, thanking whatever gods existed for giving him that small miracle. He walks into the kitchen, and sees a strange letter on the table. He picks it up, and starts reading it.
Wufei: Onna! What the hell is
THIS all about?
Sally: *sighs* I thought you could *read* Wufei...
Wufei: Sally! Stop mocking me! What's this about a party?
Sally: *getting annoyed* READ IT, WUFEI!
Wufei: "Sally, Noin and I have planned a little party for all of us to see each other, blah blah blah...Please come, blah blah blah...Relena..." Yuy's weak onna!? I REFUSE to go!
Sally: Too late, I called her up an hour ago and told her to expect us there.
Wufei: ONNA! You didn't even ask me!
Sally: Because I didn't have to!
Ling: *enters the room* Father...
Wufei: *rubs his temples since he's getting a headache* What is it, eldest weakling son of mine?
Ling: Could you buy me a Son Goku action figure?
Wufei: *shocked* WHAT? You want me to buy crap from that weakling show!?
Ling: Mother always gets me what I want...
There's one thing that can be heard for miles in the once peaceful, quiet countryside..."INJUSTICE!!!!!!"
In an unknown location in space, Zechs comes in after a hard week at work. He still worked for the Preventers on Earth, so he only came home to see his wife and son on the weekends. Noin greeted him as she came from the kitchen.
Noin: Zechs! *hugs and kisses
him* I'm so happy to see you!
Zechs: *smirks, then notices something* Where's Sieben?
Noin: He's up in his room, I think...
Up in Sieben's room, the bluish-silver haired boy was thinking of some tricks he could play on his cousins, since he figured his mother and father were going to drag him along to 'that stupid party'.
Sieben: Why do *I* have to go?
Isn't it bad enough I'm RELATED to them? Sheesh! I hate them!
They're annoying, one of them is stupid, and the other one freaks me out.
Kind of hard to believe that those dweebs are the sons of the great Heero Yuy
and Aunt Relena! And if that's not bad enough, I have to deal with the
OTHER Gundam pilots' kids as well! Argh! I hate my life!
Zechs: *enters the room, and hears the last part of the conversation* Why do you hate your life?
Sieben: Dad! *hugs his dad* Did you bring me anything?
Zechs: I tried to, but I was in a hurry to get home. So, why do you hate your life?
Sieben: Dad, please don't make me go to that stupid party! You know I always see my cousins, party or NO party!
Zechs: *sigh* I know, you hate your cousins. I'm not really thrilled about it, either. I have to see your Uncle Heero AND put up with that idiot Duo Maxwell!
Sieben: Hehe, Dad! You really hate him, don't you?
Zechs: Oh yeah...especially Heero. He STILL won't leave me alone about that White Fang incident...
Sieben: The time you tried to collide the Libra into the Earth? I thought that was cool!
Zechs: Well, your uncle didn't, and neither did your aunt...
Sieben: Hehe! Dad, when is that stupid party?
Zechs: Next month...don't start planning any tricks or pranks to pull on your cousins!
Sieben: *a little halo appears on his head* You know I won't, Dad!
Zechs: Riiiiight, and I was born yesterday...*hears Noin calling his name* I gotta go see what your mom wants. We'll finish this conversation later...
Sieben: Ok, Dad! *watches his father leave the room* Ok, what can I do to my stupid cousins THIS time...
 I started running out of name ideas for Quatre and Wufei's sons-that-will-be-Gundam-pilots. If you can come up with better ones, I would *really* appreciate it! Thanks! :P
That's all for now! Hehe...so, if
you like it, and even if you didn't, please review! Thanks! Ja ne!
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